ALL TIED UP WITH A PRETTY BOW ON TOP?

Perfectionism, while potentially a positive trait, can become a significant obstacle to personal and professional growth. It’s not always possible to wait until a piece of work is all neatly and tidily concluded with a pretty bow on top to take action. Thinking back and forward about something, amending and rewording, reading and rereading.  The relentless pursuit of perfection and the constant striving for the ‘ideal’ can lead to overwhelm and procrastination.

It rears its head in many ways:

Fear of Failure: Perfectionists often fear making mistakes, which can lead to them avoiding doing something in the first place, missing out on opportunities and new challenges.

Procrastination: The constant need to do things perfectly can lead to procrastination as individuals delay tasks out of fear of not doing them well enough.

Self-Criticism: There is no harsher critic of a perfectionist than the perfectionist themselves. They can be overly critical of themselves, leading to low self-esteem and negative self-talk.

Difficulty Making Decisions: The fear of making the wrong choice can paralyse decision-making, leading to indecision and more missed opportunities. As a leader of a team, your team may be looking to you to make the decision to move forward with other pieces of work.

We don’t live in a fairy tale land. It’s not all flowers and fluffy clouds. Happily, there are strategies to manage it and reduce its negative impact:

1. Learn to fail

Mistakes matter: Everyone makes mistake and it’s unlikely that you are going to get everything right first time, and that’s ok.  If you are  a leader it shows others that you are human too!  Whatever happens you can handle it. Fail fast, fail often and then learn. Learn what to do differently next time and move on.

Practice Self-Compassion: Would you talk to a friend or family member the way you talk to yourself?  Would you expect someone else to overload themselves and put everyone else’s need above theirs? Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend.

First things first: Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps and do the first thing first. One step at a time. As a leader of a team it helps if you can guide others to do the same.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts:

Identify Negative Self-Talk: Pay attention to your inner critic and challenge what it is saying to you. Is there any evidence to back it up?  Ask yourself if what you are thinking is true?  Actually and factually true?  Really? Was it the whole thing that was awful or perhaps just one small part of it that you could do differently next time? 

Turn it a ‘never’ into a ‘not yet’: Practice positive affirmations and focus on your strengths. If you are learning a new skill or behaviours remind yourself that you haven’t mastered it, yet and that you will with time.

Seek out Professional Support: Talk with a qualified coach or perhaps even a counsellor to develop coping strategies.

3. Prioritise and Plan:

Set Realistic Deadlines: Avoid rushing and taking on too much at once. There are lots of great online tools that you can use to capture and share work on these days – take a look at Trello or Asana. Although there are many others.  An overloaded unplanned to-do list can add to overwhelm if it is not prioritised

4. Optimise your focus

Remove anything that might distract you. For example, switch off notifications on your phone so that the latest email landing in your inbox does not become the focus of your attention

Try Binaural Beats – beautiful pieces of music created by playing two slightly different frequencies in each ear. The brain perceives a third tone, called the beat frequency, which can induce different states of consciousness, like relaxation or focus

Try techniques like time blocking or the Pomodoro Technique to improve productivity. There are some clever scheduling tools with the likes of Microsoft that can support you with this.

5. Learn to Say No!

When you overcommit yourself, you are the only one that misses out!

 By recognising signs of perfectionism in yourself, and perhaps others you can try implementing some of these ideas to start to work in a different way. And remember, you will not master these suggestions perfectly first time!  It takes practice and action.  You’ve got to take a deep breath and make a start!